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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The end of an era.

I really miss him. I keep expecting him to nicker when he hears me open the door, but he's not there. He'll never be here again.

Even though he was eating so much better he didn't put on any weight. Friday we had a long talk with the vet about his treatment. The vet had been very concerned about the edema and had told us not to get our hopes up. But because he was eating good we decided to give it a few more days before doing something else.

Then came the morning he didn't come over to the house to eat his grain. I called for him and he poked his head out of the shop. (It's nice and warm in there). I never saw him walk to our house but Brad saw him as he walked over and said he looked weak. The edema had got very bad and I realized we had to do something different, but it was too late. I also had to admit to myself that even though he was eating pretty well, he was loosing weight not gaining any. He ate some grain and like always took a nap by the honeysuckle. After a while he sat down under the birch tree and never got up again. He never even tried. He was tired and weak. Bobby cried inconsolably and had to be shut in the basement. Funny how animals know something is wrong even though Fox was just sitting with us eating apples and nibbling grain.

When Brad went inside to call the vet to put him to sleep, I was laying with Fox on the lawn and he started to go on his own. His pulse was very weak and I knew he was going into that other place. I went inside to tell Brad maybe he should tell the vet not to come because Foxsun may not be here when he arrived. (The vet is 50 miles away and because it wasn't an emergency it might have been a few hours before he arrived). Brad said he never got through anyway because the line was busy.

It was the last full day of summer and it was a beautiful day. So warm and still. Not a leaf stirred in the trees. Not a cloud in the sky. Birds were singing. And I lay with my horse telling him he was a good boy and I loved him. I kissed his nose and stroked his face. I rubbed his legs and sprayed the flies.

I was inside the house getting a cup of tea when Foxsun left us. I looked out of the window and noticed how still and empty his body looked. His ears were motionless. I covered him with blankets and asked Brad to bury our boy under the apple tree.


Foxsun was gently laid to rest in one of his favorite places under the apple tree. Funny thing... after he was buried I looked out at Dandylyons standing under the cottonwoods and my eyes played tricks on me because in the dappled sunlight I thought I saw the familiar sight of Foxsun standing by her side.

I got in my little pool and swam. There was ice on the water buckets that morning and so the water was very very cold. I swam around on the bottom to maybe drown my sorrows and numb my sad thoughts. I watched Brad remove all Fox's blankets and grain buckets etc off the lawn. After I walked along our dusty farm road, which are still covered in Foxsun's hoof prints, to the corrals to see the mustangs. We initially got our first one, Wildairo, to keep Foxsun company when his elderly cow wife died. I never guest she'd outlive him. Within a short while little Echo had me smiling and laughing as he applied for the newly opened position of most endearing lovable horse on the farm.... and a new era begins.

Indulge me one last time.

First time I saw Foxsun.

Foxsun as a youth.

Foxsun and Dandylyons.

Apple Pi Foxsun Bay was a Morgan horse born in Moorcroft, Wyoming on April 24th 1986. His mother was the sweet Foxy Triton and his dad was the beautiful dependable cow horse, Sunup Phaon.


Reddunappy said...


Lea and her Mustangs said...

I am still facing that with my old mare Ditto. Keeping you in our prayers.

chook said...

what is this salty liquid coming out of my eyes?


Cheryl Ann said...

Oh, Arlene, I am SO SORRY that Foxsun has passed. It has been 3 months since I lost Beauty. I was just a puddle of tears reading your blog this morning. I KNOW what you are going through. BIG HUG coming your way and please email me if you can. It isn't easy losing a loving friend and companion, believe me. Keep his memory alive in your heart. I just posted about Beauty this morning. (((BIG HUG)))

Linda said...

What a GORGEOUS boy he was, Arlene. Your story has made me think differently about end of life issues. I think his passing was about the most peaceful it could be. What a gift.

Anonymous said...

Wish there was someway to ease your pain. So very sorry for your loss [and Dandylion's loss as well].